Let me share a story about a $400 mistake I made in 2020.
For context, I am an international graduate student in the US, and at the time, I was preparing to wrap up my master’s degree program. You will agree that many policies governing the next steps for foreign students after graduation are time-sensitive, including an application for an Optional Practical Training (OPT). After my second application, it turned out that I was among the hundreds, if not thousands, of F-1 students whose OPT processing time was prolonged by COVID-19 and other factors. I felt a myriad of emotions, to say the least, which ranged from fear, anxiety, and uncertainty about my future. Some days I woke up with a tightening feeling in my chest, asking myself questions like “when, Lord? How will I be delivered from this situation?”
What made mine worse was that I had the chance to apply early enough to avoid the situation, but I miscalculated the application window and applied 3 days too early, which resulted in the denial of my first application. Three days too early, and there goes my $400 application fee. For POV, the cause of that mishap in the first place was being too anxious about submitting a perfect application as soon as I could to avoid any further issues. Because that action was driven mostly by fear, I ended up making the mistake I had hoped to avoid in the first place.
Back to my waiting story: I believe the Lord was patiently watching me and testing me to see how I would respond to this situation. I knew I disappointed Him with some of my reactions. You see, this situation happened right after a series of miracles that my fiancé (at the time) and I experienced. We had practically watched God move mountains and called forth into existence what was not in our lives. Yet, when another phase of battle came up, I was quick to forget.
My faith fluctuated, I must admit. Some days, my faith was so strong that nothing could move me, while on others, I threw all I knew to the wind and broke down. However, amid these, we were sure of God’s promises, so we low-key started preparing for our wedding to go on as scheduled.
But here’s where I am going. My OPT was eventually approved despite the atypical delay at that time. But the EAD card did come in the mail for me. Every anxious thought was calmed, my life felt back on track, and I could be myself again. In fact, a couple of months after that, we had our wedding in July!
The life of a graduate student, especially if you are international, is filled with “the next thing to do”. It is even more complex due to immigration policies and visa restrictions. Rightfully so, students must stay informed about matters that affect their legal status in their respective countries. But we can approach all that from a place of rest.
Pause for a moment and reflect. Did you get here by yourself? I hope not. As long as the Lord leads you in the journey and continues to enable you to do what is expected of you, everything will be alright.
However dark the night, the day will break.
What I learned
God remains faithful
In retrospect, I see how the Lord continues to be there for me in every moment. He is the constant in every life’s equations – one you can always depend on. I am reminded again of God’s word in 2 Timothy 11:13, please take note of the 13th verse especially,
11Â Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him,
    we will also live with him;
12Â if we endure,
    we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
    he will also disown us;
13Â if we are faithless,
    he remains faithful,
    for he cannot disown himself. 2 Timothy 2:11-13 (NIV).
Don’t always assume the worst
Our emotions are not directly linked to God’s way of action. He is God regardless of how we react. Sometimes our actions don’t do justice to what we have seen and known about God. His ways are not our ways, so also His thoughts. But we do know that His plans for us are good (Jeremiah 29:11). I pray that we continue to grow in faith, knowing that whatever the Lord allows in our lives is ultimately a part of a bigger plan to work in our favor. This might sound difficult to accept in the heat of the moment, but it is true. It may appear to be a hopeless situation or one with a bleak outcome; regardless of that, my friend, be certain that your God moves, and He fulfills all promises to the very last stroke.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:37 (KJV).
The known God takes care of the unknown future
Is it possible that you just don’t have control over everything? Can we at least agree on that one? Why do we waste our time fretting over things we have no power to change? When we proclaim our desire to surrender our all to God in worship, praise, and prayer, that surrender should extend to any situations that may arise in our day-to-day lives. I am reminded of this scripture in Matthew that asks some practical questions:
25 “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Matthew 6:25 (NIV).
The Lord knows the beginning from the end, but we do not know the next minute. If He takes care of the birds flying freely and the flowers blooming in the field, what about you and me, who are made in His image? God’s track records are flawless and consistent. He is able. He is faithful. He comes through. He does the impossible.
We are humans but God is God
There’s a prayer that was always said by one of my spiritual mentors growing up, which goes this way: “We have done all we can as humans, please Lord do your work as God.” I believe in the power of prayer and fasting. During those times, I was actually on a 21-day program of prayers and devotion to God, yet the devil was around the corner to throw me off. God is not an author of confusion. It is our duty to do what is right. To do the next right thing. Submit the application, update the relevant paperwork, ask questions of the appropriate offices, such as the Office of International Students, and be willing to accept help. After that, leave the outcome to God. He knows what we need per time and season. Do not take actions in fear or be tossed here and there by every hearsay, rumor, and breaking news. Try not to. You have an anchor.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV).
In summary, I can sum up every event that has led me to this point in my life’s journey as a discipleship class with God. Sometimes I learn, sometimes I may need to repeat the class. There have been many other seasons of waiting since then, and I have taken a cue from this experience to ask for grace to handle things differently. But each one has been a refining opportunity to grow and be pruned. If a similar situation presents itself to you and me today, now that you’ve read about my $400 mistake and the redemption, how will you handle that? For me, I trust God.
You may check out other blogs in BeDeborah , I am reminded of the message in Grace betwixt. Stay blessed!
